After reading my post on waking up early to create space in your life, Mrs. DS noted that getting up early is NOT the only way to accomplish this. In life there is almost always more than 1 way to accomplish a goal. I asked her to write about how she makes space for the projects that are important to her, and she did! Below is another take on how to create space in a busy life.
I’m NOT A Morning Person – And I Create Space
I’m Mrs. Dollars & Smiles (Mrs. DS). I’ve been reading Mr. DS’s posts here and there to help edit or provide feedback. After his post, Creating Space – Wake Up, we got into a conversation where I felt I didn’t relate to him on this post. I know first hand how important morning time is to Mr. DS and how it has made him less stressed because he has time to do things he needs or wants. But when he wrote, “The morning may be the only chunk of time that you get to control all day,” I didn’t agree. Because I get my shit done. And I don’t wake up in the morning (unless my kids do). So came the suggestion that I write my version of creating space as a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t get up at 4am.
Who Is Mrs. DS?
Let me take a moment to introduce myself. I am an elementary teacher by trade and taught for ten years before deciding to stay home this past year with our two boys (currently 4.5 years & 14 months). Since I was pretty ambitious and passionate about my career, people didn’t take me to be the “stay-at-home” type. And neither did I. But what I do know is that if someone is goal oriented and wants to succeed, that person can apply all their energy into doing their job well. In my current case, it’s playing the role of Mom. (Actually, starting the FI journey with Mr. DS a few years prior allowed this decision to even be financially possible.)
Identify Time To Create Space
For me, the point of creating space to do what I want/need is to be less anxiety ridden. Let’s be honest, we all get frazzled and stressed once in a while, but life is so much calmer and more peaceful when we can avoid stress.
Teaching, though a fulfilling profession, has changed quite a bit and there are so many more demands now because teachers wear many hats, especially if they take on roles outside of the classroom as well.
What I love most about my home job is that I have CONTROL over the deadlines I give myself. Yes, I give myself “to do” tasks, but there’s more desire to complete tasks I personally assign and deem worthy. Stay-at-home moms don’t just sit around eating Bon Bons and watching television all day.
I value my time and enjoy not being micromanaged. I also enjoy making my own schedule. The challenge is that my “office” IS my home and I have little ones who can make my productive time more unpredictable… because they are also part of my job. They may wake up much earlier than normal, they may get sick, they may throw a fit and I need to handle the situation, they may want to play a game with me, etc. However, I maximize the times I typically have available and create space then:
- My preschooler goes to school full time twice a week (that means I have ONE kid twice a week for majority of the day).
- Toddler naps around 1:00pm – 3:30 or 4:00pm everyday (that means twice a week, I’m totally kid free for about 2.5 hours & 5 days a week, I have one kid awake that has learned part of this is “Mom” quiet time)
- Evenings after everyone is asleep (including Mr. DS… which means I am ALONE)
Basically, my “space” is during naps and evenings. Nap time is much more productive when my preschooler is at school also.
I Don’t Have a Formula – I Just Plan Ahead
Mr. DS talks about SAVERS when he creates a calm space. I didn’t read Hal Elrod’s book about this. Heck, I didn’t even call it “creating space” until I read Mr. DS’s post. I don’t have a researched based “formula” for how to effectively use time. I’m just a teacher turned stay-at-home mom who likes to be as super efficient as possible so I have more time with my family and myself.
Now that I’ve thought it though, here is what I do:
Write Down What You Need To Do
Whether it’s a paper/pencil plan book, sticky notes, Google calendar, or a combination of these, find what works best for you and stay organized.
I juggle all meals & prep work, the grocery shopping, appointments, typical errands, my volunteer teaching lessons at son’s preschool, activities for the kids, logistics when guests visit, special holiday events, some household and dog duties, and then some.
I make myself a personalized plan book (like I did with teaching) to input these events and reminders. Having a PERSONAL plan book really helps with not having to rewrite all the recurring events. For example, I can type “preschool” on days my son attends so after I print the pages, I don’t physically write “preschool” over and over each week.
I typically only use Google calendar when the event is recurring or when sharing an event Mr. DS needs to know about (such as a mom’s night out where he’s in charge of kids or when I take kids somewhere if he wants to come along). As a teacher, I used Google calendar more than my paper/pencil one, but it was usually for meetings or professional development, not lessons I taught on a day to day basis. Sticky notes are great when I need reminders taken with me or reminders that stand out for the future in my plan book (such as “plan birthday party” as time gets close… and I can move that reminder if I don’t do it that day). A sample week in my plan book is pictured below.
Knowing your typical schedule (as I identified mine above) and routine can help you plan ahead. I like to input things into my plan book in this order:
What Goes in the Plan Book
Big Picture Planning
- Recurring events – These are no brainer events; they just happen daily, weekly, monthly, etc. but you don’t want to forget they are there and double book or forget. Mine include exercise classes, volunteer dates, backing up photos every month, or paying for monthly obligations (that aren’t autopay).
- Special events – Add these to the calendar immediately once you know. These include family/friends visiting, special holiday travels or events, kids’ school events/obligations, parties, or date nights.
Weekly Planning:
- Meal planning → grocery list→ meal prepping for week (I try to plan meals with lunch leftovers and/or enough sides to eat the next day as well… it cuts down on cooking time)
- If there are any special events or busy nights, I try to make meals special or quick and easy, respectively
- Meal prepping usually consists of pre-chopping as much as possible for the next 3-5 days of meals. That way, I can just pull things out and cook rather than spend time chopping and then washing cutting boards, knives, etc.
- Errands: I plan these when I will already be out and about in order of proximity so I’m not going all over town to complete tasks.
- Weekly notes: If things need to be done ahead of time, WRITE them down in the calendar (such as “pull pork chops out of freezer” or “organize ski gear for tomorrow”)
- House cleaning needs are weekly also. Mr. DS and I have a Google Keep checklist that we reuse every week to ensure things get done.
- Note from Mr. DS: Google Keep is a great way to share recurring checklists. We use it for the grocery list, packing list if we are going out of town, and cleaning checklist. I’ve also got personal lists where I keep track of books I want to read, movies I want to watch, etc.
Daily Planning:
- The night before I look at what I need to do, what I need to add (with 2 shedding dogs, extra vacuuming is typically added or a load of laundry if close to a full load), what I can move to another day, and plan out the order I want to accomplish things by making a list.
- Packing up the kid backpack/purse the evening before is essential to getting out the door with less stress. If able, I even pre-pack items in the car so I don’t have to carry them out in the AM. Prepping snacks and meals ready to pop into backpacks are also key because we all know hangry kids are no fun to be around.
- Prepping coffee pot for next day – no one wants to make coffee in the morning if they can just press a button. It’s somehow less work if I prep the coffee the night before. No, we don’t have an automatic coffee maker.
- Planning ahead: I also like to include some “extra” to do items to my to do list that I would love to tackle if I had time, but are not under my immediate radar. These are items that don’t have a pressing due date (if any at all), but if I don’t keep it on my mind, it never gets accomplished or is suddenly done in a rushed manner, which is not my style of efficiency. Though my teacher friends and I loved the joke: “I have a big ass, so even when I have to half-ass something, it’s still pretty damn good,” that’s not how I like to present my “work.”
- This can include starting the planning process of the next few lessons I will volunteer teach at my son’s preschool. Creating a STEAM type lesson with centers doesn’t occur overnight. Parts of the lesson are planned here and there when I have small pockets of time each day as my more immediate to-dos are completed. One day may be 5-10 minutes of deciding on a theme and gathering ideas. Another day may be requesting books I will use from the library and deciding on the activities, gathering materials, etc. Each day only requires a small amount of time to work towards the big picture.
- This post, as another example, did not have any due date, but leaving Mr. DS hanging when I said I’d write a guest blog post would be uncharacteristic. This “extra” to do item was written on my daily list; some days I got to it and some days I didn’t. It wasn’t as important as the immediate items, but when I found small chunks of time, I started typing out my thoughts on how I’d address the post, then I’d work on my introduction, etc. The majority of this post was completed during one of my “available” times (son’s 2.5 hour nap while my older son was in preschool). There’s no way I could have finished a final draft piece of writing out of nowhere in a couple hours without first having jotted down ideas. To maximize my “available” writing time, those first few brainstorming moments were essential.
ME time:
This is what tends to happen when EVERYONE is asleep.
I usually don’t write these down. For some reason, it feels less “fun” when I do, like I “have” to do them. I know what my options are and like to go with the flow on how I’m feeling that night. It’s my creative unplanned time where I’m not tied to my self-created schedule. This could include:
- Finishing up any immediate obligations (because that’s part of the job).
- Reading a book (paired with a glass of wine).
- Planning for the next few lessons I teach weekly at my son’s preschool (I love having this creative outlet now that I’m not teaching formally in a classroom).
- Researching awesome activities I could do with my kids at home.
- Catching up on Words With Friends.
- Or rocking out and dancing with my earbuds in!
What is probably the most backwards feeling about my planning is that, like a typical mom, “me time” seems like it comes last. But it really doesn’t. It happens almost everyday. It’s just the last part of my day.
Being at home is different than being in the professional work field, with its own pros & cons. I envision if I continue to stay home, I’ll have even more time available when one or both are in school full/part time. That’s when I can get more of my personal goals accomplished (such as writing children’s books – not something I can do without lots of focusing time). Until then, I’m not ever fully alone, so I create space the best I can. When you’re a mom, your job doesn’t end at 5pm.
If you are a working mom, stay-at-home mom, or a mixture of both, what are some things YOU do to maximize time and be more efficient so you have time for yourself? I’d love to hear.
Mrs. DS